Open question: What can you do over bad references? trying since in to receive a new job!!!?

I had only 2 jobs in my along-feeling life. I worked on the food of a boy, for approximately 6 months, it went finely, until near the end of I ausflippte out can and tried to specify suicide. I took Prozac and buspar, to that together taken a terrible effect have you. They cause an excited effect, in which one experiences psychotische symptoms, excited symptoms, including those the two-pole disturbance. With the work I held on going to the edge from out to exceed. at the time as, I straight thought, was weak and ill I, but, after doctors explained to me, they said now that he was from the medication. Now, since I try, to receive, stop a new job nobody me. I honestly do not know which to do. in the consideration I to the university at a large university go and for the summer I a job received must, if I do not do, must I with my parents to case live. Which is a controversy. I need straight some pieces of advice here, I confused too, which I should do. Oh and as I tried to kill me missed I two days work, because I died in the hospital. My dad, who became my supervision strength on the second day me was called, gone. And they still „let go me “and now white I not even which to say on applications for this job. I do not know which to do here.